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CHC - 17-12-06
Sunday, December 17, 2006
On Sunday, I was very happy that my daughter brought me to her church. But my feeling is still the same. I am feeling uncomfortable. Maybe, I have too much doubt in religious. 10:44 AM I really don't know what is true... but I know that during my bad health and time with insuffiencent medical claim. Sai Baba centre has given me free medical and I am also very thankful to Dr Seah. He didnt charge me for my medical fee even in his usual clinic. My opinion and personal feeling is Sai baba is also guiding us thru GOD and teaching of God's Word... In his teaching he also mentioned of Jesus... I am lost and confuse... I have to be strong and go on...with my anxiety problem. As I am alway worry for our daily expenses and scoping up my three lovely children, mewmew, wenzhen and shark... God say that why worry for tomorrow, but I am alway worry for tomorrow... GOD TAKE AWAY MY NEGATIVE TAUGHT. I am not selfish, I allow my both daughters to believe in Jesus... But somehow, I cant sfford in certain things... I am sorry Jesus... On Sunday, Pastor Kong said, we must be generous. Is this message hinting me that I am not generous...? My daughter claimed that the message is for me... After she has converted or believe in Christ. She has been attending Care Group and Bible study... I am not comfortable ... Cos her expenses has been increase very much... I have to standy enough money for her bus fares, food and offering for her each time service. I agree to be generous... but if one do not have enough for herself and she has loan from Bank not settled. Am I wrong to lesser her care group and even the offering? Please guide me and forgive me. ''In the name of Jesus, Amen? I believe GOD IS TRUE and he is not looking forward for our money.He is here to guide us to do right and help the needful people. Now especially living costs is high in Singapore. And children here are spending alot of unneccessary money for food, clothing and access. without considering of how hard the parent has to earn the money. Spending more than 8 hours at work. Here I am feeling bad for giving very little time for them. But I have no choice. If I want to survive I have to work and work. The sky will not drop anytime rite? Sai baba thanks for everything and help me. I am very pressure and down... In my health, family member to understand me and my daily work in office. I really desperate for you to be with me every moment ... I am very very worry that I will do silly things,,, I know I must be strong... I know ... I know... My mind is full or worry... especially my mum and my children... ... And speakless... cos when I speak I am nagging... |
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